Quitter

One thing I've found out about myself since this whole thing started was that I am a quitter. I am capable of quitting. Now, for my "glass half full" friends out there, you see the word "quitter", and you probably see something negative. But I think of it as a positive. Sometimes, quitting can be GOOD. I'm sure a therapist would tell me to turn those "quitting" statements into something positive, but I prefer to look at all of the things I no longer do. Starting something new seems difficult to fathom sometimes. But quitting something seems to appeal to me. I like the idea of an "end" to something. It's done. Over. Finished.

Things I've QUIT doing:

I've quit with the laziness. Granted...When I first started this blog, I said I would exercise for 30 minutes every day. Well, I haven't been able to keep up with that. But I DO exercise as much as I can when I can. I no longer sit on the couch all the time, thinking about the things I should be doing. Instead, I just get up and do them. I remember when I did boot camp the summer after Alex was born. I hated going in the beginning, but after a couple of weeks, if I missed a few days for various reasons, then I felt my body miss it. I realized that I actually desired to exercise. I hurt my back at the end of that summer and had to take several weeks off to recover. In the beginning of that injury, I missed my beloved boot camp so much. I mentally felt compelled to go, but I knew that I couldn't because I was hurt. After a few weeks of rest, I didn't miss it anymore. And such is life. If you get out of the habit, then you stop missing it and start a new phase of laziness. But I've broken through that once again, and I've quit laziness.

I've quit being afraid of health goals. At the beginning of this blog, I said I was starting the 100 push ups app. That was a tough one to get through. I battled myself mentally and physically, and I won! I completed it, and I felt good for that. I realized about 3/4 of the way in that I was so close to the end that I just HAD to keep going. And now, I'm setting new health goals for myself. (Look for Couch to 5K posts this Spring.) But now that I've actually completed a health goal and know how good that feels, I'm no longer afraid of new ones. Because I know there is going to come a day when completing that goal is going to be hard, and I'm going to want to give up. But now, I also know what it feels like to complete one, and that feeling is SO worth it!

I've quit denying my body of water. I never realized just how little I drink during the day until I MADE myself take notice. When I got on my green tea kick and stopped drinking that morning diet coke, I realized just how long I could nurse a drink through out the day. (Jeremy calls me a camel). I could literally pour a glass of water in the morning and still be drinking it that afternoon. But with tea...I mean, who wants to drink a cold cup of hot tea!? BLECH! So, I had to drink fast. And after that, I set water drinking goals for myself throughout the day. I tried to drink a glass of water as quickly as I would drink a glass of hot tea. And it has made a HUGE difference in how I feel throughout the day. And now...It feels like second nature and a NEED for my body. I NEED x-amount of water throughout the day in order not to feel completely parched. (And I will never understand why the more water I drink, the thirstier I feel. But so be it.)

I've quit neglecting my skin. About a month ago, I developed a new routine at night. After dinner, I take five minutes to go cleanse my face and apply all the necessary "please don't let me look old before my time" products. The lady who does my makeup told me that not removing makeup (especially eye makeup) can age you tremendously overtime. It leaves dirt and all kinds of nastiness all over your skin and clogs pores. So, even though I'm already starting to develop those fine lines and wrinkles (I like to think that the smile and "expression lines" are just because I lead a very happy and, I guess, surprised life and are a good thing), it's time to try and keep this mug clean. Beautiful women in the 50s didn't just get lucky. Well...I guess SOME of them did. (Curse those good genes of theirs!) But many just took really great care of their skin early on. And I've neglected mine for a LONG time. The funny thing is...after a few days of this facial care, even Jeremy noticed. He told me that I looked "all glowy." :)

I've quit eating after 8pm. Jeremy and I like to watch TV after the kids go to sleep, and I swear...most nights, I can't remember what I even ate for dinner. Dinner time with our two kids is like an eating contest between me and Jeremy. Who can finish dinner first?! Because we are constantly dealing with the kids, we hardly even taste our food. So, when we sit down to finally relax for the night, I sometimes snack. But I've stopped. And honestly...now that I don't do that anymore...I don't even miss it. It's like my body finally gave up the need/want.

I've quit beating myself up. I've quit looking at the all of the flaws, and started TRYING to focus on all of the good. I've quit saying I can't and started thinking "Well, maybe I can." I've quit being scared of actually succeeding at something and started reaping the benefits of healthier living.

There have been other things I've quit too, but this post feels long already. So, I'll stop typing for now. But my husband is proud of me. And I'm proud of me. And I'm finally starting to take care of this body of mine. And that feels good. So, yes...I'm proud to be a quitter.